YEP YEP I KNOW NO JUDGEMENT PLEASE. Anyways, some of my close friends and family know that lately, I have somehow been obsessed with Depp and his movies. Don’t know why, just like BAM — obsession. It also helps that yesterday, I went to watch ‘Murder On The Orient Express’, starring you know who (hehe Voldemort reference). Obviously that inspired me to do this ranking even more.
Now, of course I haven’t watched each and every movie of his – which would also kind of be a never ending blogpost, so I’ll just rank the ones that I’ve actually seen. Well, the ones that I have seen, and somewhat enjoyed. A lot of POTC’s… You’ve been warned in advance. Oh yes – some spoilers will definitely be included – but again, some of these are pretty old. I guess you’ll just have to see for yourself (: Btw, this was very hard to do, the whole ranking this. I’ve had to change and switch and trade soooo many different movies for other either higher or lower down the list, after I either watched the trailer again or remembered a certain scene… I hope the end result is somewhat decent. (You’ll notice that I have less and less to write as the films get lower and lower on the list)
1. Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them – 2016
BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING… I know he didn’t really have a part but let me tell you why I put in on the top of this list. He plays the character of Grindelwald, as we now know, and what we also know is that there will be four more ‘Fantastic Beasts’ movies… With Johnny Depp as the main villain.
He is absolutely perfect for the part because – as I saw yesterday in his new movie – he plays criminals extremely well. No idea why but he just seems to have the mysterious face and attitude that fits a villain. (he always seems to whisper when acting out criminals…. huh)
I guess I’m just extremely excited that he is now also included in the Harry Potter universe (still waiting on Benedict Cumberbatch to be casted DAVID YATES !) What I do love is that he’ll be interacting with one of my other favourite actors – Eddie Redmayne, who plays Newt Scamander in the soon-to-be series. So that is why it is on top of this list, because I love the HP universe and am anxiously waiting for the next movie to come out. That is in like a year but we can all have our private wishes thank you.
2. Murder On The Orient Express – 2017
As I said – I watched this yesterday… So I have many, many, many points to make about this. And because there are so many things I have to say about it that will all be spoilers, I have written all of it at the end of this blogpost, so that people who haven’t watched it yet are free of any spoilers. You’re welcome. (Just scroll down if you have)
Some things that aren’t spoilerous (thats a word now) : He plays a criminal, which he just does extremely well (I have already explained why haven’t I) But the only thing is, I feel like he wasn’t really inclusive with the other characters as much as I would have liked him to have been. The reason that I’ve put this movie so high up for a character that wasn’t included in the group, is because the movie ends up being all around him and what his character has done. Don’t guess the obvious there (;
3. Alice Through The Looking Glass – 2016
THIS OOONNEEEE I LOOOOVVEEDDD. First of all, I’m quite confident in saying that The MadHatter is my favourite fictional character ever created, and the fact that Johnny Depp is the actor who plays the part in the recent movies, just tops it off. When I first watched this movie, I actually didn’t really recognise Johnny, but I don’t think many of us did. He is so well disguised its ridiculous.
I loved his acting in both this, and the first Alice In Wonderland movie, because he puts on this completely different character from ANYTHING he’s ever done. His high voice, lisp, cartoony facial and body movements, and just his general attitude around other characters. (aka his awkwardness) What I found really funny, is that he had an American accent when he was really jolly and doing everyday things, and then when his character got angry he suddenly changed it to a Scottish one… Did anyone else notice that at first ?
I feel like The MadHatter has developed such a history in that universe, and we have seen many extremely negative times in the character’s life, but in someway or another Depp continuously makes it entertaining to watch. Like, “ooooohhh, I loved the scene where the MadHatter almost died”, just because Johnny Depp made him look so innocent and fragile and UUUHHH PERFECT.
4. Dark Shadows – 2012
You see, this is a bit of a different situation. Because well… I haven’t actually seen the movie. BUT WAIT -> I’m planning on seeing the movie this week, maybe tomorrow, but I already know that it will become one of my favourite Johnny Depp movies. Why ? Because the trailer already had me dying laughing, so I can only imagine that the full movie will be absolutely hilarious. I definitely love movies where he’s in really funny situations, but as you can see by my top three, things like Harry Potter and murders always get the best of me I guess (:
SO DON’T WORRY I PROMISE I’LL LOVE THIS MOVIE A LOT…. TOMORROW (:
I also noticed that, whilst watching the trailer, Johnny is wearing the same exact makeup as he does when playing the MadHatter, just a lot less colourful.
5. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory – 2005
This movie was shot a while ago, when I was only two years old, (dang he’s aged well), ANYWAYS I went to watch the West End musical of this a couple of years ago (2013-14 I believe) and I really, really enjoyed it. The performance was extremely colourful, and since I hadn’t seen many musicals at that point, all the costumes and sets were absolutely mind-blowing to me. And then I got the notice that Johnny Depp played Willy Wonka in a previous version.
Uhm sorry… Say that again ? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT EARLIERRRR.
SO about one or two weeks ago, I went S T R A I G H T onto the good ol’ internet and went to watch (the now available) movie that had been kept from me for so many years. I’m quite sure that I was shown this movie a long time ago, but I didn’t like it because it ‘looked old’… Shut up, me from the past ! My favourite part of his performance in this movie was the absolute blunt sarcasm and mockery that he brought to the table, and how he handled that with his face and voice. I suppose you wouldn’t expect Willy Wonka to do these things, so that makes it all the more funnier. I’m sure that most people know by know, that Willy Wonka had a much more sinister motive to the whole factory tour, to basically test and/or kill all the children who don’t obey – or something like that. (I don’t know the exact theory)
The thing that sort of got me off track whilst watching the movie, was my confusion towards his teeth. Those were not his real teeth, and I know that for a fact. So to see him with absolute perfect teeth, and oh yes, no facial hair, was really off-putting to me. Of course – it was a character so what have I got to say.
6. Into The Woods – 2014
OKAAAAAAYYY. The one and only reason that I put this one so extremely high, is because he frekkin sings in this one. Which, previously, I didn’t know he could actually do. Also – I didn’t notice he actually played in this movie until about 2 weeks ago. So – I was missing out. I literally was shocked whilst watching this one scene over and over again on Youtube, because HE IS SO GOOD AT SINGING. And then I sort of fell into a loop, apparently he has sung in so many other movies that I didn’t know of. HUH ?
The song that he sings is called ‘Hello Little Girl’, and I find his voice to really fit the song, down to the lyrics and sentence structure. No clue why, but the raspy tone of his voice does perfectly go with the assigned character. In this one he got to actually use his own, instead of having to completely deform and change it. For example, like with the MadHatter where he completely changed everything about it.
7. POTC : Dead Men Tell No Tales – 2017
One of the reasons I loved this film so much is because we went to watch it at the IMAX in London, which was a breath-taking experience in itself.
I think this movie is so incredibly cool and well filmed and full of amazing characters and argghhhh. First of all, the story is very well crafted. It’s about Jack’s old enemy, Captain Salazar, who wants to take revenge on him after escaping from the Devil’s Triangle. (Which Jack himself let him escape from, after leaving behind his dear compass) The only way that he can save himself is to work together with a female astronomer, who would seem like a witch at that time, and the son of Will Turner – to find the Trident of Poseidon.
Personally, my favourite part of this movie was all of the special effects that were used for the dead men and their ship and surroundings.
8. Edward Scissorhands – 1990
When I initially saw that this movie existed, quite recently in fact, I didn’t really want to watch it at first. For the exact same reason I have with many different movies ; it ‘looked old’. I now know that, you sort of have to deal with the lower quality, because the stories can actually be really good !
It was very unlike me, but I managed to fall in love with the 1970’s looking streets and houses, the clothes they wore and the poor filming angles… I don’t know I just really enjoyed this movie. To the point where I went out to a charity shop 20 minutes away to find a physical copy of it. I found one (:
One of the main things that I had in my head whilst watching this was that in some scenes, Edward’s character was so incredibly adorable ! Just his facial expressions awwwhhhhh. I don’t know I’m that weird person to think that a psychopathic looking dude looks adorable in some way. Creepy human that I am. BUT HEY – look at the 4th picture down below ! Wouldn’t you agree in the slightest ?
9. Alice In Wonderland – 2010
I thought that the MadHatter was obviously the best character in the movie, both for Johnny and the fictional being that is Tarrant Hightopp. And I’m not the only one to think that. In some of the trailers, “Johnny Depp” is literally the only name that is shown, so I suppose that this whole film was supposed to be around him then (:
Before watching this, I really thought that it was just going to cinematically cover the basic storyline that is the books, but as I should have been able to guess, that was the furthest from the truth. I’ve watched back many of the old films (e.g. the 1972 movie) and all of them are extremely boring and exactly the same concept… So well done Tim Burton for directing an actual original !
10. POTC : On Stranger Tides – 2011
I think that – in my opinion – this was definitely the POTC film where Jack’s character was the funniest and had the most hilarious scenes. My favourite one being that where he’s been captured and has to dine and discuss with the British Emperor or king (Pictures below). I’m pretty sure that the amount of funny lines he has, correlates to the amount of rum he drinks. So I suppose he drinks a lot of rum throughout it.
Many different characters that are closely related to Jack, like his ex and his dad, get incorporated into this movie too, which just adds to the disturbing times and situation that is the Sparrow family. Although, I think that was his dad… Not too sure though. He looked like him anyways.
This is the one where he wants to get to the fountain of youth before Captain Barbosa. As the fountain of youth is buried underneath an island, the scenery of this film is obviously incredible. And he has to assemble a crew to get there, and thats kind of how he gets arrested YEP thats it thats the one.
12. Rango – 2011
I didn’t actually properly watch the movie, to the point where I would know the actual details of the plot; I do know that is is about Rango, a chameleon, who tries to be his own self and figure out who he is amongst all these other animals that are already established. In a way, ‘stand out’ when he’s supposed to ‘blend’ in. (he basically has a complete and utter identity crisis) The true reason why I loved what I’ve seen of it so much, is because I got to know how all of the voices where recorded later.
Unlike with other animation movies, all of the actors dressed up in these basic costumes and acted out the scenes on these really crappy sets, just so that the voice acting would be realistic. I think I preferred watching the behind the scenes more really (: Johnny Depp has never really done that many animation movies, so I think that for me – it was quite interesting and curious to, not be able to see him on screen. That was very different for me personally.
I remember in the beginning I didn’t really enjoy it that much, don’t know why, I just think I found the storyline quite boring, but upon rewatching it recently I’ve started to like it a lot more. At the start – also – I wasn’t as obsessed with his movies as I am currently, so I guess that explains why I didn’t enjoy it at first (:
13. POTC : Dead Man’s Chest – 2006
In this adventure, Jack Sparrow is searching for the chest of Davy Jones – who is still alive and doesn’t want Jack to find this chest. I would react the exact same way. My favourite part of this film is the entire island sequence, where Jack has supposedly been captured but has actually turned into the island’s chief.
Apart from Jack’s weird accent whilst speaking to his tribe, I also really loved Davy Jones. He is that realistic squid-ward man with a pirate hat on. I’ve seen a whole lot of behind the scenes videos, and how they did all the tentacle work and stuff, and its really impressive to watch all the technical things that go into making these movies.
Don’t get me wrong, it might be on the second last place, BUT – once again, I haven’t fully watched it yet… Not even half of it. What I do know, is when I watch it in the future, I will definitely enjoy it, because its another Johnny Depp Comedy film. And those are the movies that I always seem to enjoy the most.
This is one of those where Depp actually gets to keep his semi-natural appearance, which is normally completely disguised from everybody through middle of a crap tone of makeup, or a wig.
15. POTC : At World’s End – 2007
For me, this simply wasn’t a memorable movie. In fact, I can’t even really remember what the plot was at all – and I rewatched the trailer about 50 seconds ago – so. I found this movie to be overly packed with the same exact shots and fighting moments, almost no comedy scenes, and a concept that I didn’t particularly like. It was something about flipping over so that the boat was in the ‘upside down’, (hehehe stranger things reference) and then that would lead you to who knows what I MEAN. In general I just really didn’t enjoy this movie that much.
Of course, Johnny Depp’s acting was on point, which is honestly the only thing that actually kept me watching. The only scene that I somewhat liked in this film was the one where he was on the white sand, and licked that rock. Its a meme now.
16. POTC : The Curse Of The Black Pearl – 2003
Maybe I don’t like it as much because it was the first one in the series ? Who knows. All I know is that Johnny Depp wasn’t fully comfortable with this overly dramatic character yet. You can definitely tell that he’s not acting ‘Jack Sparrow’ out to his fullest potential when you see the movie, and so therefore I feel like I couldn’t exactly judge this movie like all the other ones. This same thing goes for any other character in the POTC universe. They’re all babies here, they don’t have their full personality yet, the actors haven’t fully embodied them yet, and so therefore the film is lacking that slight midge of character.
Of course, throughout the course of the POTC series, all of these become incredible and I now adore them, but I just thought that, in this one, the characters aren’t really the best – and I’m sad to say that that includes Johnny Depp.
MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS – MINI REVIEW
Well, welcome to the bottom. This review isn’t really going to be solely around Johnny Depp, but I really wanted to just rant about some parts of it. Btw, I will use many, many capital letters in this, because that is the only way that I can express how raged I am about a certain number of topics (:
Overall, something that I really enjoyed about his movie, was the amount of nature and landscape shots they included. I noticed that there was always a scene, and then a landscape, and then another scene, and then a landscape. Before they were on the train however, they also did this with the city discussed here ↓
Lets discuss the beginning of the film, the part where they are in Jerusalem. At the start I couldn’t help but be very very confused about how this would correlate into a train ride, but it got explained after a while. I found it really funny when the officer in Jerusalem, that was found guilty of theft by the detective was trying to escape, and then ran into the detective’s cane that he had purposefully stuck inside the Jerusalem Wall Place. (Don’t remember what its called)
Before the train was shown and all, all of the characters were introduced in a very interesting and clever was, I think. Basically, this extremely long shot was taken, where all of the characters were throughout the train station, doing their own things. It was very weird because, they all felt so utterly unrelated, which obviously proves to be false at the end of the movie. I see this as a sort of jaxapositioning, if that makes any sense at all in this context.
A couple of my favourite shots were the ones where the camera followed the detective, who was walking past the long train, whilst all the main characters were each doing there own pose in separate windows. It looked so cool, because all had such a different personality shining through, wether that would be suspicious, (mostly that) scared, etc. I guess the production team agrees to my comment because they actually used this technique thingie multiple times throughout the movie. It almost felt like, each time it was repeated, everyone appeared more and move mysterious. (and also, during the second or third one, Johnny Depp is obviously missing, making it seem like some sort of gameshow where one person will be left at the end.) When they filmed inside the train, sometimes a real one sometimes not, they did it in a way where you really felt as if you were immersed into the story, and sitting on the other side of the dining carriage, or standing in someone’s cabin, etc.
Johnny Depp, who played the criminal, did it in such an effective way that you would actually believe he was an evil mastermind off the screen too. He’s not but still. He had this small modification to his face, which was the scar across his eyebrow, that was just the icing on top of the cake. My brother actually genuinely said that he didn’t recognise it was Johnny Depp at first. UHUM – THIS IS ONE OF THE RARE CASES WHERE THEY ACTUALLY LET HIM LOOK LIKE HIS TRUE HUMAIN SELF – ARE YOU BLINNDDD ??? Yeah I was a bit confused about his comment but I’m okay now.
Its really sad that his character had to die so early on in the movie, whilst his character profile had such potential, but I did find it cool how he still appeared in the many flashbacks throughout the film. About his death – a few days ago I got this glance (it was only for a millisecond) of this sentence that read ‘crkmiwal ig kiwled’. So I was immediately thinking… “Wait, is Depp’s criminal character the one that gets killed… NOOOOOO”. I had a short but powerful period of depression right after, but tried forgetting it in case it wasn’t true… It was. And it was very sad that there was a minor spoiler before I watched it.
The overall acting was really good as well. The actors had to act, as if they weren’t suspicious or guilty themselves. But then – the characters had to act as well – pretending like they didn’t know about the whole group involvement thing. Aka acting whilst acting. Pretty impressive I must say. I only realised this after we finished watching it, so I was kind of sad that I wasn’t able to look back and observe this weird acting loop.
NOW – I also have some parts of the movie that my family and I felt were a bit – off. Firstly, we now know that all of them took part in the murder, yes ? My question is, how did all of those adult beings manage to get into the victim’s cabin, kill him, shout a bit whilst killing him, exit the cabin and walk back to theirs – ALL WHILST THE DETECTIVE WAS IN THE ROOM RIGHT NEXT TO THEM… AWAKE. HE WAS AWAAAAAKKEEE. How do we know he was awake? Well, because he stuck his head out the door into the corridor about five times, right before everyone turned up to kill the criminal. I don’t think someone with so much on his mind would have fallen asleep in about 50 seconds, I really don’t think that would happen. So, how did he not hear a s i n g l e noise from this murder. Who knows right ? illogicalllll.
Also, the ending… BORINGGGG… He (the detective) brought the correct idea forward that they all worked together, which I responded to like : “okay, yeah, that makes sense”. Thats because I was so confused throughout as to who might have done it solo – that that conclusion didn’t even surprise me the slightest. So no shock there – and after that blunt statement WHAT DID THEY DO ? THEY MADE HIM WALK THROUGH THE WHOLE TRAIN, GAVE HIM HIS LITTLE INCONCLUSIVE SPEECH, WALK DOWN THE PLATFORM AND TO HIS ANCIENT UBER CAR…… WITH NO BACKGROUND MUSIC OR ANY SOUND AT ALLLLL. I literally was clenching my fists all the way through because it was sooooo cringeworthy and awkward to watch all of that happen with just the sound of his footsteps… I’m still not over it.
Lastly, something that my mum picked up on and told us, was that not one single other passenger was allowed or was seen exiting the train, when it was broken down by the snow storm thing. Whilst the whole crew and one whole carriage was just chilling or even having deadly fights outside. So why did no other passengers get to be taken to a safe area ? Instead of staying in a stranded train on a bridge.
By the way, Penélope Cruz, who was also a part of this movie, played Jack Sparrow’s ex in one of the POTC’s. I thought that that was pretty cool to have them play in the same movie again. They sadly weren’t in any scenes together. AND – The detective played by Kenneth Branagh was also Lockhart in Harry Potter… Mind BLOWWWNNNN. Wait no no – I’ve got more, Daisy Ridley is Rey in the recent Star Wars movies. HOW DID THEY GET SO MANY INCREDIBLE ACTORS IN THIS ONE FILM ??? Oh yep yep, update, Judi Dench was also included in a Johnny Depp Pirates movies – in the same scene as Depp. How could I be so uneducated ?